Originally we had intended to stop over in Singapore on the way to Australia but with the SARS outbreak we decided just to stage through. It's a long flight - 12 hours to Singapore, the plane is refuelled and cleaned for a hour and then another seven hours to Sydney. During the stopover, Wendy makes use of the showers in the lounge whilst I went out onto the observation deck of Chiangi Airport.

About half of the people were wearing masks - a bit pointless since once they are moist they are ineffective and the humidity was high so they could only offer protection for five minutes or so. The 'best' defence was to keep about a metre distance between you and everyone else. Only one thing to do then - cough, a really throaty one - and sure enough everyone moved away from me and I got the space I wanted. Ho, ho, ho - sometimes fear can be used productively.

Sydney - Part One

Arrive in Sydney at 5:00AM and it's teeming down - never seen rain so heavy. I think of my neighbour, who said before we left (about the glorious weather we had in Manchester for the first two weeks of April), "You won't get weather like this in Sydney!". Did he know something? We spend two days there just chilling out and getting over the jet-lag. We stayed at the Grace Hotel in the heart of the Central Business District and about 10 minutes walk from Cockle Bay.

We take a harbour tour, walk around the Opera House and watch the Bridge climbers as they make their way up the coathanger. The bridge climb itself is a bit expensive (at $AUS 70) for what you get (a harness, a stitch in your side and a group photo) and they won't let you take your camera for 'safety reasons' but, being cynical, it's more likely that you won't buy the images they have from the top! For around $AUS 130 you can get a helicopter flight around the bay, including the bridge.

Adelaide

Take the morning flight to Adelaide flying with Virgin Blue so we can meet up with my sister. We both enjoyed this flight because the attendant had a really good sense of humour as we land we're told that South Australia has strict quarantine laws - or as the flight attendant put it, "Place any fruit you have in the bins provided - if you don't know what a piece of fruit is then ask the Officer next to the bin - he's one eating the banana". We go to pick up the hire car and are upgraded to a bigger car - we have a one way rental to Melbourne and this car needs to be delivered back so we get to do it as we were going that way!

Ah, now, this is more like it - glorious sunny weather. Drive off the the campsite where my sister is staying - she's recently retired from work and is travelling round Oz with her partner in their new caravan. They are known as 'Grey Nomads' or the 'Grey Army' in Oz. Their plan is to travel round for 2-3 (or more) years to see all the places they want to see and to find their ideal place to (eventually) set up their new home - sounds like a good idea to me.

We take day trips to places in and around Adelaide - Glenelg, which is a charming seaside town south west of Adelaide (left); Victor Harbour (right) to the south east where they still have a horse-drawn tram.

We also visit the 'Whispering Wall' reservoir - the dam acts like a funnel so that you can stand at each end and whisper into the wall and talk to one another 40m apart - great fun and it reminds me that I still haven't got round to visiting the Whispering Gallery in St. Paul's Catherderal in London. The Panorama at the top of this section shows the reservoir.

Unknown to us, the Barossa Valley Wine Festival is taking place so we head North to sample the delights of the region. We stop at Jacobs Creek (a well known brand in the UK) and other such hostelries. The Yalumba winery has opened it's grounds to various 'smallgoods' producers (i.e. cheeses, cured meats, cakes and breads) so that you can buy your own picnic and enjoy the wine, food, location and the live (folk) music. Lovely.

What does a shirt do for you? Well, it depends on the shirt - there I was in the middle of the Yalumba winery with my Wales shirt on - a short sleeved shirt with the Welsh Flag on it. I've never been so popular! I had people coming up to me who had emigrated from Wales 30 years ago and just wanted to say hello. One lady was with her daughter (who it transpired was the catering manager at the winery), the next thing I know is that she gives me a bottle of wine because of my shirt.

So, my shirt is worth a decent bottle of Yalumba Cabernet Sauvignon!

Great Ocean Road

We had planned to travel between Adelaide and Melbourne via the Great Ocean Road along the Victoria seabord. It's described as a 'beautiful scenic drive' and it certainly lives up to it's name. We start at Mount Gambier, which leads to the Great Ocean Road - and the Blue Lake (pictured above). This lake was formed by volcanic activity and in the summer months (Nov-Mar) turns a vivid blue colour before fading again. From there we reach Port Campbell, where the GOR starts.

The route makes its way along limestone cliffs that are gradually being eroded by the sea and create formations like the 'Twelve Apostles' (left at sunset) and London Bridge - the section between the land and the 'Bridge' fell back into the sea in 1997.

There are many scenic flight companies around Port Campbell with a short trip costing a mere $AUS 25!

There are some beautiful seaside towns as well including Apollo Bay and Port Fairy - a small town that has kept an 'Olde Worlde' charm about it. On the High Street is an 'old fashioned' sweet shop with gobstoppers, bullseyes, liqorice shoelaces - the lady who runs it tells me that she counts it as a 'Health Shop', "After all", she said, "we look after your mental health!". It took me back to the days of standing outside the sweet shop waiting for it to open (the copper coins making your palm go green) - oops, showing my age there!

Melbourne

At Victor Harbor, the tourist office suggests that we do not take the motorway to Melbourne but try the ferry instead, so we do - arriving on the East side after a pleasant 40 minute crossing. We reach Melbourne and meet up with Tim, Jane and Christopher - he's grown a bit since the last time we saw them; Christopher was three then and now he's eight and a big fan of rugby. It's raining but that doesn't stop us catching up on past events. They are also fans of Harry Potter so we watch "THe Chamber of Secrets" (and eventually buy the DVD in Bangkok).

Sydney - Part Two

Fly back to Sydney. Stopping at the Airport Holiday Inn 'cos we're off again tomorrow and, yup, it's still raining and it seems heavier than before!

New Zealand

North Island

Arrive in Auckland and visit the Tourist Info to get somewhere to stay and suggest an itinerary. We've heard that the South Island is more picturesque than the North and the (very helpful) chap at the info desk confirms it - so we decide to split the 10 days we are there as 4 in the North and 6 in the South. He shows us the main places we should visit on the drive from Auckland to Wellington.

We head North first up to the Bay of Islands but it's raining heavily so we decide to go back to Auckland - the Sky Tower has fantastic views and you can do a controlled 'Bungy' from the top (you have wires attached to stop you banging into the tower on the way down and up!) and you can even climb the radio mast at the top and stand out on the platform (the highest you can go) - climbing the mast (from the inside) takes 1.5 hours each way!

We head to Rotorua. This place stinks, literally, because it is all build on volcanic holes and geysers. There is a strong smell of Sulphur (rotten eggs) to the place, which (surprisingly) you get used to quite quickly. There are many 'thermal parks' around here that you can walk round and see sinkholes like the one one the left that 'bubble' hot mud.

We head South along the main state highway, past Lake Taupo and onto Wellington. We stop at the first motel we can find. "Bit windy out there", I said to the chap at reception. "What wind?", he replied, "That's just a breeze". Well, all I can say is hold on tight to your children - no wonder they call Wellington the 'Windy City'. One of they joys of travelling is that you meet people whose perceptions are different to your own - I was talking to one chap who said he'd been to Auckland but didn't like the lifstyle there - too busy and rushed - so had returned to Wellington. It made me smile to myself because my perception of Auckland was 'laid back' - the coffee shop on the corner from our hotel has newspapers and magazines and we spend a good hour in there catching up on news over a cup of tea.

Originally, we had intended to travel the Cook Strait by boat to Picton then see if we could hire a camper van to tour the South Island - we discover that the vans can only be hired from Christchurch, so we would have to take the train on arrival at Picton. We check out prices and the ferry and train would be $NZ 133 (and would take 8 hours) or fly direct to Christchurch for $135 (and it's only 45 minutes). Well, that's an easy decision. It was a 60 seater aircraft and (apparently) taking off at Wellington is a lot easier than landing (the 'Windy City' remember?). As we board we can feel the whole plane shaking in the wind. Actually, the flight wasn't to bad and a lot more comfortable than 3 hours on the ferry.

South Island

OK, wer're in Christchurch and head to the 'Camper Van' rental place at the airport. We get a two berth Mercedes van. Quite good, with shower/loo, hob, microwave, fridge and (of course) the seating which converts to a bed. We both think of our friend, Kevin, who drives one of these as a delivery van in the UK. There are only two roads that are 'banned' (which we would not want to go to anyway), so it's pretty much go where you like - the only other restriction being that the microwave and header run off mains electricity so that these would be unavailable if we do not stop at a camp site - you can stop virtually anywhere you like and just set up camp. The camp sites themselves vary from 5-star (with all amenities) to basic shower/loo blocks in a field and cost between $NZ 15-25 per night for two people.

We start by heading North towards Hanmer Springs - it reminds us a lot of France and where we used to live. It's a bit odd (to us) seeing the trees in autumnal colours and it's April. It's warm during the day but very cold at night so we need the heater. Looks like no 'impromptu' camping for us on this trip. We continue along the State Highway, crossing the width of the Island to reach the West Coast and 'Franz Josef Glacier' - spectacular views of the icefall and glacier abound. Our eventual destination is Queenstown. So far, the only downside is that the 'State Highways' are only two lane roads (like 'A' roads in the UK) and the speed limit is 100kph, so it can feel like you are driving all the time.

Queentstown. The centre of all sorts of suicidal sports - if that's what you're into - there are nosegays offering the Big Four: a trip on the Shotover River Jetboats, a Bungy Jump, a tandem paraglide and a trip up the cablecar. As the intrepid travellers we are - we did the last one! Bungy jumping is just beyond me - why plummet 200-300 feet and crush your internal organs into the upper part of you body cavity? I just don't get it and it can't be good for you. Paragliding's another one - participants must surely have a 'lemming' mentality to run off a cliff. I would actually do the Shotover Jetboats but we didn't have the time. Ho hum.

Anyway, in the south-west of the South Island is fiordland (NZ spelling) and Milford Sound. You can either go there by coach (5 hours each way), or walk along the Milford Track (about three days) or fly in and out (45 minutes each way). Hmmm, now let me see ... we'll take the flight. A 4-seater Cessna takes you over the Alps and down into Milford sound.

Here we are landing at the airstrip (left) and the view that greets you before you board one of the cruise ships that tour the Sound. I'd been calling it Milford Haven by accident (after the place in Wales) and we find out that this was it's original name because it was first discovered by a Welshman.

The Sound is spectacular with huge mountains, many waterfalls and rainbows. The Pilot takes us on a circuit - out from Queenstown over the Alps to the North and back overflying the Milford Track to the South so we got to see everything.

There are, as you can imagine, fantasic views from the cockpit and some you could just not see any other way. The picture on the right is a lake and it's waterfall high up in the Alps and can only be seen (or accessed) from the air. Marvellous.

After Queenstown, we head North-East towards Christchurch, stopping at Methven, where Wendy takes a Balloon flight. She really enjoyed it - they take the balloon down to within a couple of feet of the river and glide along. Apparently, on landing, there is a 50-50 chance of the basket tipping over - and sure enough it did. If it's your first flight you also get 'annointed' in Champagne.

We continue past Christchurch and onto the Banks Peninsular to Akoroa. The campsite is above the town so we have views over it and the harbour - it's a quiet location and a small town (no taxis to take us back up the hill but if you go to the pub they lay on a courstey bus to take you home)! By the way, the picture at the top of this section is Lake Pukaki, which has a view to Mount Cook and, yes, it really is that colour. Much of New Zealand's electricity is hydro- or geo-thermal and the lakes are all very low in water so there is a national crisis - when we left it was suggested that 'cold showers' and/or 'rolling blackouts' were only 3-4 weeks away. Maybe they could build a pipeline to Sydney - plenty of rain there!

Sydney - Part Three

Potts Point is about 5 minutes walk from 'Darlington Road' in the middle of King's Cross (the red light area) - but it's not unsafe and is lively with shops, cafes, bars and other 'entertainments'. To reach the Opera House and Darling Harbour means a walk through the Royal Botanic Gardens - great views in a great setting. The flower on the right is a 'Bird or Paradise'.

We can certainly see the impact of the 2000 Olympic Games - if you look carefully at the bottom of the skyline panoramas you will see a row of waterside appartments and 'yuppie' flats; this was all military dockyards five years ago.

Bangkok

Ah, Bangkok. What can I say? Well, there are only two problems with Bangkok: first there's the weather - it was 36C but it's the humidity that gets you; it's like walking into a sauna when you step outside the hotel and you simply have to accept the fact that you will be hot and sweaty until you re-enter an air-conditioned building.

Secondly, you are constantly hassled by people to go somewhere or buy something as soon as you leave customs and immigration at the airport. It gets annoying after the first hour. You also have to be wary since there are some well known scams still active in the country.

We were staying at the Bangkok Hilton and, we can both honestly say that, it's the best hotel we have ever stayed in. Marvellous hospitality and nothing was too much trouble. We were upgraded to the executibe floor, which is nice because you get all these little 'extras' that enhance the stay - breakfast buffet served in a separate area, afternoon tea (where they bring a sample of the food to your room), bowls of fruit with amazing displays of culinary 'art' - leaves and flowers carved from the melon, guava, etc. We would certainly stay there again and recommend it to anyone.

We decide to take the train to the river then a water-taxi to the Grand Palace for a look around. Fortunately, the trains are all air-contitioned and the stations clean and litter-free. The water-taxis stop at piers where you just jump on and off and the trip is 8 baht (about 12p). Unfortunately, this week-end is a special buddist festival so the Palace is not open until 1PM, there are plenty of drivers of tuk-tuks (effectively, three wheeled motorbikes with a two-seat bench behind the driver) willing to offer a tour for about 25 baht - this tour would take about 1.5 hours. Anyway, one chap starts talking to us and asks us where we are from, "Manchester", we reply. "Congratulations!". Eh? It appears that in our absence Manchester United have won some cup or other ... so he tells us. Funny isn't it - I've never actually met a Manchester United fan who lives in Manchester, they all appear to live somewhere else. With our new found friend he suggests a tour itinerary and flags down a tuk-tuk on our behalf and negotiates with the driver to give us the tour for 10 baht. So off we go.

We go to see the Smiling Buddah - a rare treat since it is not normally open to the public, and watch the Thai's annoint themselves before they enter by tapping themselves on the head with a wet Lotus flower (really - it's supposed to bring luck or something), the Saphhire and Ruby factory (where we are pressured to buy one of these hideous jewels), another buddah, drive past the (current) King's palace. The driver tels us that he knows of a shop, where if he takes us to it he will get a free tank of petrol for his tuk-tuk and there's no obligation to buy. Oh aye, sounds like one of the scams, where you will not be let out of the shop until you buy something (it has been known). However, we are stronger than that so we play along. He takes us to a tailors. It's more respectable that we were thinking but there is still pressure to buy. To be honest the shirts are good and I succumb to three tailored shirts for £36 - but only if he can deliver them to my hotel by 6PM that evening (it was now about 1 PM). No problem, we're told so I also invest in two pairs of lined trousers as well. Whilst I'm being measured he shows me a picture of Judith Chalmers being fitted for a chinese-style jacket. Well, if it's good enough for Judy it's good enough for me I say.

Back on the street, we are taken back to the Grand Palace. When I ask the driver, "How much?", he says, "Whatever you want to pay". Remember that we had agreed on a price of 10 baht - but he'd been with us for over 2 hours (and driven us here, there and everywhere) - I was thinking of inviting him to dinner. Let's just say he was very well tipped and he got a free tank of petrol.

So, off we go into the Grand Palace. This is where the previous kings set up their homes. We are hassled again at the gate by people wanting to be our guides. So, we take one and spend 1.5 hours going round. The photo at the top of this section is the guest quarters for one of the palaces. It was all very interesting but after 1.5 hours I really didn't want to see any more buddahs. I was buddah'd-out. So, off we go to get the water taxi back. "You want a river boat?", touts one of the chaps at the pier, "How much?", I ask. "Special price for today only 175 baht", he tells me. "Oh aye, well it only cost me 8 baht to get here". "Ah", he says smoothly, "that's the normal boat but there won't be one along for ages. We can take you now". "I'm not in a hurry", I replied.

We go out in the early evening to a Night Bazaar - foodstalls, shops, market stalls. It was fun wandering around but we didn't see anything we particularly wanted to buy. Arriving back at the hotel the Concierge tells me that my parcel has arrived and has been taken to the room. There we are - he did deliver the shirts and trousers on time. They fit really well too - you know me "Suits by Armani, body by Whitbread"! We also have a look at Patpong Road (or Ping-Pong Road as it's more widely known, I'll leave the reason to your imagination!), where fakes abound everywhere - fake watches, fake designer labels and fake women (watch out for the lady-boys).